"It is astonishing which (universal) realities become form and word in sexuality - the whole heaven of gods and the elements are translated into words of endearment, exclamations and declamations. (Wilhelm Salve)
On the basis of Salber's book "Der Alltag ist nicht grau", published in 1989, and many other of his investigations, we present everyday forms of life on this website at loose intervals. This article deals with the psychology of sexuality in everyday life.

Drawing by Max Liebermann

Among the activities of the day, sexuality stands out as particularly attractive. Among the other everyday forms, it appears as an exciting pattern that intensively advertises itself. This can happen during household chores such as washing the dishes or making bed. But the pattern is also enlivened in the midst of other people. Like an advertising picture it signals to the soul: "I promise you an exciting experience!"

Development image
Why is such a strong promise associated with this everyday form? Morphologically speaking, sexuality advertises a complete development in short form. Development is in the view of Wilhelm Salber the basic motive of the soul. It finds no deeper meaning than to treat and understand oneself in the twists and turns of reality. Therefore, one does not have to subject oneself to sexual acts. Ad-hoc developments draw their drive from within themselves. They are psychic 'vortices' that lead the whole thing into something else, promising to transform it. The prospect of watching a film, of having a cool drink in summer also has an attractive effect. But sexuality is a pattern that is even more strongly conceived as a sensual and dramatic film character.

Development in summary
The developmental form of sexuality begins with an attraction that urges to unfold. In more or less appropriate situations, the seed of arousal arises and pushes for turnover in activities.

The everyday form of sexuality that emerges in this way holds together diverse activities, images, qualities of experience and an urgent tendency to close. It brings into play basic relationships such as above and below, pushing forward and receding, taking over and becoming taken over.

It forms itself close to the body in smelling, tasting, feeling and continues in - considered in itself - banal movements. But it also merges into universal forms such as flowing, falling, penetrating, receiving and merging. With it, there are points of rotation, turning points and changeovers that are detached from one another.

If sexuality with others is formed, genesis and decay of a common form will be experienced. For with its activities and qualities of experience, it enlivens the material foundations of joint creation.

Like a story, its development is heading towards a "climax". The latter promises qualities of oceanic delimitation. And like the end of a storm, it echoes on this.

The fact that sexuality is initially an ideal advertising image of development is shown by many versions in which this pattern is actually carried out in everyday life. The image of a complete development in short format can take shape in everyday life as overwhelming, as being against and next to each other. The development can break off, get stuck and cool down. Partial aspects, which are given their place by the overall development, can become absolute and align the whole according to its logic. Then sexuality clings to a "fetish", which it must approach in ever new attempts.

Given the dynamics of human sexuality, its enormous combinatorics and disturbability, it is understandable that Sigmund Freud discovered in it an ordering aspect for the soul in general. He saw sexuality as a symbol for the productions in which reality seeks to treat and understand itself.

Text after W. Salber (1989): Everyday life is not grey (p. 132 f.)

Click and read on this page about other everyday forms:

Wake up in the morning
Looking out the window
Cozy round